“Machete don’t text.”—a pithy declaration from sixty-something Danny Trejo in Machete.
If you’ve seen Machete, the Mexploitation opus (some clever expertos de cine may say “Mex-erpiece”), you know that Machete does a lot of things. He sleeps with repulsively beautiful women. He swordfights with Steven Seagal and, implausibly, wins. He even rappels down buildings using a living man’s intestines. He does not, however, send text messages.
Writers for Write.com don’t text either—well, at least they don’t employ texting language in their written work.
We have long witnessed a battle between people who love to use SMS language and those who resist its encroachment on their linguistic lives.
Traditionalists, predictably, get all butthurt and say texter-talk is “pillaging our punctuation; savaging our sentences; raping our vocabulary.” Texting makes them queasy, contorting their stomachs until they have to expel their hate in righteous fury. SMS advocates, however, deride these crusty Luddites by saying, “ OMG I h8 u. ROTFLMAO @ u. U r teh luser. SMH.”
Regardless of ur . . . excuse me, your position in World War Text, however, you must abstain from SMS-speak when creating content for Write.com.
I admit, language is malleable. It’s also true that World War T is probably already over: new language developments frequently triumph over the old ways, despite the protestations of the dying breed. In fact, anti-texting traditionalists might soon have to resort to sending the former Governator back in time to save Eddie Furlong and Budnick from the Text-1000. That’s their only practical option for victory.
Nonetheless, SMS language remains inappropriate for proper written content. Keep your texting on your phone and out of your online content.